Urine big trouble.

In the past few weeks, Lochlan's urine stream has been slowly decreasing. He has been grunting and bearing down only to have small dribbles of urine to come out. I suspect that the discomfort is the reason why he has been vomiting his bolus feeds since having his catheter removed 2 weeks ago. I have a hard time accepting that there is nothing I can do for him right now. The only saving grace is that he seems happy in between vomiting and peeing. 

I was really hoping that we were going to hear some good news today, but alas we did not. We have become so accustomed to bad news that we sort of expect it and cope with it quickly. The urologist told us that Lochlan's urethra could not be reconstructed until he is much older and bigger. In the meantime, he will need a suprapubic vesicostomy to let the urine pass without obstruction. It would mean a surgical opening above his pubic bone to allow the urine to pass freely into his diaper. 

The earliest that Boston can do the surgery is the 17th. It's only 10 days, but 10 days of poor sleeping, vomiting and pure misery can feel like an eternity. Because this is a one night routine surgery, we are unsure if we necessarily need to be in Boston for it. Adam and I decided that if the surgery can be done sooner in Albany, then we shouldn't uproot the kids and take them to Boston. The urologist in Albany tends to be extremely busy all of the time, so I doubt that we will be able to have surgery sooner in Albany.

Part of me is relieved that the reconstruction of his urethra will be delayed because it's not as straight forward as a vesicostomy. It can mean a number of surgeries with recurrent strictures and no guarantee that it would be a successful surgery. I almost feel that we should wait until Lochlan is old enough to make his own decision to have the reconstruction. He has been through a lot, and at this point, where he urinates from is cosmetic.